{Currently - April 2013}

written on 4/19/13

Reading - The Bible, Naptime is the New Happy Hour, and of course blogs. Some of my favorite blogs right now?  Amanda, Ashlea, Stephany, Lauren, Amanda, Monica, Savanah, I will stop here as this list could get really long!

And, I've had a great week finding new blogs and new friends. Definitely check these out... Sarah, Karen, Jamie, LeeAnn, Emily, Whitney, Alesha, 

Writing - in my journal, planner and blog.

Listening to - A mixed cd in the car...a little Bart Crow, Kasey Musgraves, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles {for the boy}, Casting Crows, etc.

Thinking that - my head hurts, but my heart hurts worse. Boston and West, TX are heartbreaking. 
 
Wishing - for a better, safer, more beautful world. 
 
Watching - too much! Touch, The Following, Beauty and the Beast, Scandal, Revolution, Nashville, 90210, Hart of Dixie, Revenge, Army Wives, Duck Dynasty, Dallas...and maybe a few more.

Looking forward to - the weekend, Mason's blast ball game on Saturday, Amanda's baby girl's party on Sunday.  

 

In case you missed it...I have a Scentsy bar giveaway going on over here

{2013..so far and goals}

Quite honestly, 2013 has more downs than ups! It's only bound to get better and for that I can't wait. So many of my family members have been sick, I have an Uncle in ICU, I've had a Sinus infection/ear ache and getting back into the swing of things after 10 days of relaxation and bliss have been completely awful.   Mason only went to school 1 day last week and it wasn't that bad. But this week? It's been heck!! He cries and throws fits in the mornings, doesn't want to get dressed and doesn't want to go to school. We've both shed many tears these past two days. To say it's been hard is a complete understatement. Yesterday he cried when we pulled up to school and didn't want to go in. I finally got him in and he was okay. We went to his classroom to put all of his things in his cubbie and he was still good. We started walking down the hall and he cries, "I don't want to be here. I don't like my school." Talk about breaking this Mama's heart. We get to the cafeteria and were saying our goodbyes, again he cried really bad when I left school. I hate leaving when he is crying...but had to leave in order to get to work on time.   I left work and got to Mason's school as soon as I could only to find out Mason had a wonderful day. He was so happy!! He played and made all kinds of things. He told me he loves his school and that he was a big boy and that he was happy. That made me feel so much better!! He promised me that we'd have a better morning the next day.    Fast forward to this morning. Did that happen? No. Worse. He was plum rotten. He didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to get dressed, didn't want to leave the house. I can't blame him. I didn't either...but we have to.  It took forever and a lot of tears to get him to leave. He cried again at school.   I feel so defeated and beat down!    I hope this is a short season and that Mason gets back into the swing of things quick. These days are too hard!    Moving on...   2013 lets say we have a restart, m'kay?
13 goals for 2013:
1.) Take a family vacation, just us three 2.) Get Mason potty trained {heaven help me} 3.) Make more Mommy/Daddy time  4.) Be more gentle in my words of discipline when Mase is being rotten 5.) Go to church regularly 6.) Spend more time at home/cook more 7.) Find something Mason will eat and eat well 8.) Eat healthier/exercise more - possibly start running 9.) Have family pictures done 10.) Learn Photoshop better 11.) Take more pictures of our every day lives and video too 12.) Spend some time with Amanda 13.) Be a better person all the way around

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{Monday - the Good, the Bad and the Ugly}

{Note - this was written on 11/20/12 - but still wanted to post}

Oh Monday, you won! Ya hear that? You won!

Guess I should start on the positive, right?

The GOOD:

 We had a wonderful evening together, just our little family of 3. From Taco Casa, to crazy stroller rides through the house, to hanging out in Mason's room and ending the night all three of us cuddling in Masons new twin size bed {more on that to come}. 2nd night Mason having a big boy bed and he has slept all night both nights!!

The BAD:

 It was very stressful...to say the least. First of all, it was Monday {enough said, right?}. Work was extremely stupid busy. My co-worker is on vacation this week and I'm covering for her. But, here is the worst part...she got a virus on her computer last week so I have to use web mail. Ugh!! I have no access to her computer, or anything she did prior to last Thursday. Kinda makes it hard to cover someone. AND I have to work 8 until 5 every day this week. I should be grateful for the hour of overtime each day, but honestly, I'd rather have that hour with Mason.

So, needless to say, all day I kept looking forward to getting home and getting "Monday" over with. 

It was going good and then BAM...a text message comes through that raises my blood pressure and gives me an instant migraine. 

The UGLY:

Masons teacher {and one if my best friends} got a new job and next Wednesday is more than likely her last day at FCA. 

I want so much to be happy for her {and deep down I am} but right now I am weighed down with sadness. My heart is breaking for my sweet little boy. His most favorite teacher/person {and most times our saving grace} at school is leaving. How do you prepare a two year old for something like that? You can't. 

She loves Mason and he loves her and she's leaving. My heart has been filled with so much peace knowing that she's there during the day to care for Mason. And now that's gone. I know I'm being a little selfish, it's just hard. I know Mason is going to be sad. And that? Just crumbles my heart. She is like his safety net.

I pray, pray, pray that Mason adapts to this transition with as minimal of heartbreak as possible.

{Picture not related, just wanted to end this post on a happy note!!} 

Update - today was our first day without her. Mason did fairly well. It just so happened that we had a nice distraction. Another sweet teacher was talking to Mason and helping me. Mason was in the middle of telling her a story and saw that one of his classmates had a bottle of glue. So he went with said teacher to help her tell that child No No! I just pray that he didn't have a major fit once that was over! I will find out later.

Today is weird. I will not know how his day went until I pick him up around 4:30. I will miss being able to chat with my friend in the afternoons and her telling me how Mason's day went.

{Why I'm scared to have a 2nd baby}

Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely loved being pregnant. Like every single second of it. Even the nausea. It was probably the only time I  have ever welcomed nausea because, well, it meant that I was pregnant. And every mother I ever talked to told me that nausea meant the baby was healthy.

I had a fairly healthy pregnancy. Then around 27/28 weeks my doctor realized my belly was measuring bigger and my uterus was measuring higher than it should have been. So he sent me for a sonogram. And just as he suspected...my amniotic fluids were measuring high. In medical terms I was borderline Polyhydramnios. 

Polyhydramnios (polyhydramnion, hydramnios, polyhydramnios) is a medical condition describing an excess of amniotic fluid in the amniotic sac. It is seen in about 1% of pregnancies,^[1][2][3]. It is typically diagnosed when the amniotic fluid index (AFI) is greater than 24 cm

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My fluids were at a 21.5 which put me in that borderline range. What did this mean? That my doctor would have to monitor my amniotic fluids by way of a sonogram and NST {Non Stress Test} every week until my levels showed to level. {which they never did} When I was initially told all this I kind of freaked. If my fluids continued to increase the risks were almost too much to bear...

Premature rupture of the membranes

Placental abruption

Preterm labor and delivery

Growth restriction

Stillbirth

C-section delivery
Postpartum hemorrhage

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A little hard to swallow, right? I knew the only way I was going to get through this was by prayer and divine intervention from God! So, I asked for prayer from my friends and family. And it must have worked...because I never really worried anymore and my levels never increased. They didn't decrease either, but not increasing was more important. Plus, I had the most active little boy growing inside of me that reminded me daily that everything was fine and God was in control. God sent this peace over me and I knew that it was all going to be okay. Plus, it was kind of nice getting to see my sweet boy on sonogram every single week.   Besides the fluid levels, the rest of my pregnancy was pretty close to perfect. Until Tuesday, May 25th. The day I delivered Mason. My doctor sent me over to be induced, but I was already in labor. And my blood pressure spiked. At 40w4d I developed toxemia. Thankfully, everything went just fine {besides the devil drug - magnesium sulfate}.   So now I have those two things on my chart - Borderline Polyhydramnios and Toxemia.
And now that it's all over and I look back on it...those two things terrify the heck out of me if we were ever to get pregnant again. Yes, I know that God is in control, just being honest here. I'm scared! We were so blessed the first time around that these two things did not develop into anything more.      

Sonogram of Mason at the time I learned about the fluids

My sweet/healthy boy now

  

{If you really knew me...according to my husband}

  Written on 10-2-12   So, I asked my hubby to help me out with writing some things about me that only people that "really" knew me would know...
Here is what I got:

*That you are the sweetest person that they know.

*That you would give away our last dollar to help someone else.

*Have way to many reusable grocery bags!

*Have a shopping addiction even if you don’t want to admit it.

*Snore

*Love baseball

*are a girly girl but can shoot.

*can out drink a man twice your size and get up and go to work the next day.  While he is puking and crying at home.

*Have had SEVERAL car accidents.

*That you don’t cook.

*Are good at planning trips

*Don’t wash the sink out after spitting tooth paste in it.

*Would do anything for Mason and I.

*Love George Straight

*have Dreams about Jason Aldean

*You talk when you are tired.

*You spend too much time on the ipod and phone.  Blogging, pinterest, instagram and others.

*You love your friends and family

*You are a role model for all of your younger cousins

*You have a sexy husband

*People have asked you what the key to a happy marriage was.

*Mason and I think you hung the moon.    Then I asked him how hard it was to not write anything inappropriate {because I know him} and he says...
Very!  But I did it!  

   

{If you really knew Mason}

Part 2 of 3 - 

Yesterday - if you really knew Nate - post here

Tomorrow - if you really knew me - as told by Nathan

   If you really knew Mason...   ...you'd know he loves tractors and monster trucks. Like LOVES them. ...you'd know that he hates anything chocolate. ...you'd know that he drinks a lot of milk. Like 24-32 ounces a day. ...you'd know that he's a total Mama's boy. ...you'd know that he's {scary} smart. ...you'd know that he tells everyone he's four...which raises some eyebrows when we're trying to use our 2 & under FREE discount at places!! ...you'd know he prefers sprite over water. ...you'd know that he'll go a couple weeks at school with no crying in the morning and basically pushing me out the door...and then the next couple of weeks he will throw a fit for me to stay with him. ...you'd know that he's caring and compassionate, kind and respectful, witty and strong-willed. ...you'd know he's a complete yogurt addict. ...you'd know that he knows all of his colors, can count to 20, knows his abc's, can spell his name, and tell you that he lives in Waxahachie. ...you'd know that he rarely forgets a face or a name. ...you'd know that he prefers to wear a ball cap backwards. ...you'd know that he is ALL boy! ...you'd know that he's kind of a bully at school. Not in a way that he hurts others. But in a way that he kind of runs things. ...you'd know that he lights up a room. ...you'd know that he loves taking baths. ...you'd know that {as of right now} he wants to be a fireman when he gets bigger. ...you'd know that the Three Little Pigs is his favorite book/story. ...you'd know that he has a big heart and consoles other kids when they cry at school.
...
Again, I have to make myself stop there. I could talk about him forever as well.
I love my boys.  

    Oh...and you'd know he's so dang cute!  

{If you really knew Nathan}

  Part 1 of a 3 part Series... Nathan - today Mason - tomorrow Me - as told by Nathan - Thursday ...   If you really knew Nathan...
...you'd know that he's the best father to our Masonbug. ...you'd know that he is a bacterial meningitis survivor {post on that to come}. ...you'd know that he loves all things outdoors; shooting, hunting, fishing, sports, hiking, camping...everything. ...you'd know that he thought we were having a girl and was totally surprised at our sonogram when we found out Mason was a boy. ...you'd know that he loves baseball and football. Like watch {or listen on the radio} to the game, watch the highlights on ESPN after the game, and then check it all out on the net. Yeah, majorly kind of obsessed. ...you'd know that he works at Lockheed Martin Missiles &  Fire Control & has for 7 yrs now. ...you'd know that he is the oldest of 3 boys. ...you'd know that he'd do anything for anyone anytime ...you'd know he's a talker. Meets lots of people, even at the gas pump. ...you'd know that he's incredibly honest. ...you'd know that he's a good listener. ...you'd know that he rarely drinks, but when he does it's Shiner or ZiegenBock. ...you'd know that he finds mowing/weed-eating therapeutic ...you'd know that he's an insanely hard worker ...you'd know that he likes to cook...especially grill ...you'd know that he's always looking for his next project {usually a vehicle or gun} ...you'd know that he doesn't do dishes {but he can stack them pretty high in the sink} ...you'd know that he's a family man through and through. ...you'd know that he has been a hands-on type of Daddy since the minute Mason was born. ...you'd know that he's a Texas Country music kind of guy ...you'd know that part of his heart is and will always be in Oklahoma ...you'd know that he wishes he would have went into the military when he was younger. ...you'd know that he's pretty calm and collected until his baby boy gets sick. Then he gets serious, serious anxiety.  ...you'd know that he's had the same best friend since he was a toddler. ...you'd know that he has a big heart and is pretty sentimental. ...you'd know that he pretty much always makes the right/best decision. I lean on him like crazy in this area.  ...you'd know that he has a hard time buying things for himself.
...
I will stop there. Maybe this will be continued because I could talk about this man forever!    

    Oh...and you'd know that he's pretty darn hot!!!  

{MommyFail}

Yesterday I had a complete Mommy-fail!!   This face?  

   You'd never know he just drank {and threw up} a 1+ week old yogurt, right? Yep, he did...
We had just gotten home from school/work and Mason took off around to the side of our house where his sandbox and outside play toys are {like he always does}. I ran inside and dropped the mounds of stuff I had in my hands onto the couch. I was heading to the side door when Mason met me there saying,
"Mommy, that yogurt was olllllllllld"
I freaked!! "Mason, did you drink an old yogurt?"
"I spit it out Mommy, it was nasty."
I ran outside and sure enough there was an old Danimals Yogurt drink on the table. He must have left it out there the last time we played. Which, totally had to be over a week ago. And just as he said, there was a spot on the concrete where he spit it out. 
I could tell he still had a nasty taste in his mouth and his face was starting to look sour. He played for about five minutes and then I saw it coming up! He ran over to me and started throwing up. Not a lot...probably just the little bit that got into his saliva. 
He bounces back up and says, "I'm o-tay Mommy."  I gave him some water to drink and told him it would make him feel better.
I watched him like a hawk for the next 25-35 minutes until Nate got home. He seemed just fine...but I wasn't. I felt so bad that the old yogurt was left there at his dispense. 
::Hand to the forehead::
Oh and then later that night after fighting going to sleep for over an hour he says,
"Mommy, I need some water to make me feel better"
The boy doesn't forget anything........